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Are you making assumptions about your divorce?

On Behalf of | Oct 3, 2019 | Divorce

Almost everyone has an opinion about divorce and the divorce process. If you haven’t experienced divorce yourself, you probably know someone who has. It’s a common occurrence that can happen to anyone in any kind of relationship.

Despite the fact that divorce is a normal part of modern life, that doesn’t mean that everyone’s opinions and beliefs about it are accurate. People who divorce may make incorrect assumptions about the event. Here are several common and potentially harmful beliefs about divorce that may be helpful for you and your family if you’re considering a divorce.

Assumptions based on gender

If you ask most people about child custody after a divorce, most people will probably respond that mothers are generally the ones who get primary or sole custody of children. That is untrue and, sadly, might mean that a father won’t try to obtain legal or physical custody of his children. Courts generally consider what will be best for children. That may often mean the father having primary or sole custody, especially if he has already been the primary caregiver for the children.

Another gender and divorce myth people often believe is that women are always the ones granted alimony. That may have been true in the past, but these days, women frequently earn just as much or more than their husbands. Alimony is primarily based on income, and if a wife made more than her husband, she may end up paying him spousal support.

Assumptions based on the future

Though it’s often true that a person’s life improves greatly after divorce, that isn’t always the case, particularly when it comes to finances. Some people think that if they maintained a separate bank account from their spouse, their finances are free and clear. That’s not always the case. New York is an equitable distribution state, meaning assets acquired during a marriage will be divided fairly. That might include those bank accounts.

People also might believe that their personal life will get better post-divorce. That can be true in many instances, but other stresses may pop up that the person will need to handle. Sometimes, the increased expenses and decreased income, since only one person is handling a household, can make things difficult. Plus, many people still have to deal with their ex after the divorce because of shared children, which can further exacerbate any animosity.

Assumptions about who is to blame

There certainly are situations where one person is responsible for the breakdown of a marriage. However, most of the time, both spouses contributed. If someone can’t understand and accept his or her part in the ending of the relationship, he or she could wind up making the exact same errors in a future romance.

Even if you think you’ve made assumptions like these before, divorce may still be the best option for you to move forward with your life. It’s something that can occur in any kind of relationship. You deserve the brightest possible future, no matter your marital status.