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White Plains Divorce Law Blog

Are there any disadvantages to divorce mediation?

Just about any legal process comes with a share of benefits and disadvantages, including divorce mediation. While most couples divorcing in New York find mediation to be an excellent solution, this method of divorce is not for everyone. Those who have already consulted with a lawyer are lucky because your legal counsel can explain in-depth how divorce mediation works. Part of such discussions should include a review of your case to determine if mediation is a good solution for you.

In the absence of a lawyer, you can still learn enough about divorce mediation to help you decide if you want to look deeper into this solution. This blog has already discussed some of the benefits of mediation, and it makes good sense to talk about its possible disadvantages as well. The section below provides some insight into when divorce mediation might not be the right choice.

  • If you are timid when dealing with your spouse, the lack of formality in mediation may not protect your interests.
  • If you think your spouse is hiding things from you, it may be better to let the court system uncover the truth.
  • If you suffer from domestic violence or abuse by your spouse, mediation might not be enough to protect you during a divorce.
  • If your split is particularly hostile or full of acrimony, mediation might fail. In these cases, it may be wiser to seek a traditional divorce.

Tips for a healthy divorce

You want to get divorced, but you do not want it to be an ugly split. You're dedicated to making it a healthy process for all involved, especially because you have children. So, how do you do it?

To help you, here are a few key tips:

  • Focus on communication. You and your spouse have to talk during this process so that you can work together.
  • Speaking of working together, make cooperation one of your goals. Don't think of this as you versus your spouse. Think of it as you and your spouse trying to cooperate and find a solution together.
  • Don't talk about things when you feel emotional. While emotions are a natural part of this process and you shouldn't avoid them, you don't want to lash out at your ex and ruin this process because you're feeling angry or sad. Just take a step back and keep working after things settle down.
  • Don't be afraid to talk to others. Set up a support network. Maybe this means talking to friends or family members. Maybe it means seeing a therapist. Whatever you need to make things go smoothly, put some emphasis on it in your daily life.
  • Keep a positive outlook. Focus on what your life can become, rather than the marriage that is ending. Make choices that are best for your future -- not choices that make you hold onto the past.

When do you know it’s time to end a marriage?

Sometimes the biggest struggle in a marriage is knowing when to pull the trigger and end it for good. Many times, marriages go through a state of limbo, where no direct decisions are made and the uncertainty looms in the back of one or both person’s mind. After all, the consequences for pulling the trigger and calling it quits may completely alter the lives and trajectory of your children. The end of the marriage may sink a person financially and cause all kinds of chaos with shared assets.

So, how does someone know it is the right thing to do? Here is a list of some signs that you need to fold your cards and walk away.

Family law attorneys offer viable solutions to domestic violence

In the minds of most people, living in situations with domestic violence is not acceptable. However, many New York residents face violence in the home far too often. Sometimes, this violence is perpetrated on spouses, but children and other family members can also be victims. The main issue for most victims centers on what they can do to stop this dangerous and demeaning cycle of violence safely.

As family law attorneys, we like to put an emphasis on the word "safely" used in the above paragraph. Our attorneys have witnessed unfavorable outcomes in many domestic violence situations in which the victim tries to remedy the problem alone. As such, we want to urge all domestic violence victims to seek assistance when attempting to get away from a violent situation.

How do New York courts handle property division in divorce?

As if the emotional pain of divorce is not difficult enough, it typically comes with complicated legal hurdles as well. Even couples that do not have children together must often face elements of divorce that are complex and frustrating to say the very least. Property division is one such element that can turn an otherwise simple process into a battlefield.

New York, along with many other states, uses the equitable distribution model to determine what each spouse walks away with after divorcing. While this may sound simple, it is one of the most misunderstood aspects of divorce. For example, many people think equitable means they will get an equal share or even half of the marital property, but that is not always the case.

Divorce filing dates may matter for asset division

You may not think twice about the date you file for divorce. As soon as you decide that you want to end your marriage, you'll put in that paperwork and serve your spouse. It's all about moving quickly.

For many people, though, this is something that they think about for a long time. They really consider the dates and they think about how they can best set things up for their future. If you can, you want to pick a date that benefits you when it comes to asset division.

Successful co-parenting is a goal you can achieve

One of the most pressing concerns for divorcing parents is the well-being of their children. Unfortunately, the stress of divorce often pushes these concerns into the background. Unfortunately, sometimes parents don't even realizing that this is happening. This is especially a danger in contentious divorces when both parents are intent on getting what they want, but also getting through the process as quickly as possible.

It is only in the aftermath of divorce that many people realize they still must learn how to co-parent effectively with their exes. Even when you have a legal document spelling out each parent's visitation time and parental responsibilities, it remains difficult for some to enter into this new relationship with a co-parent.

What are the main advantages of divorce mediation?

It is safe to say that most couples living in New York and facing divorce expect the experience to be agonizing as well as exhausting. Ending a marriage, even when each spouse agrees to the divorce, is one of the most emotional events one can go through in a lifetime. Since couples anticipate a difficult time when divorcing, many of them wish they could find a way to make the split easier for everyone involved. If this sounds like your situation, then divorce mediation may be your best solution.

If you do not already know, divorce mediation is a way for couples to settle their issues and come to a final agreement outside of a New York divorce court. An impartial mediator serves both parties by encouraging cooperative problem solving and open communications. Below is a partial list of the top benefits of choosing divorce mediation to end your marriage.

  • May benefit children: When kids of divorce see their parents work together to resolve conflicts, it often helps them feel more secure about the breakup.
  • More affordable: In nearly all cases, divorce mediation imposes fewer costs than traditional litigation. Mediation may also proceed faster than a courtroom divorce.
  • Reduces anxiety: The idea of going to court causes many couples to feel anxious. An out of court solution helps to reduce these feelings of anxiety.

Four attitudes that end marriages

Marriages end for a lot of different reasons: Substance abuse, infidelity, and financial stress are just a few common examples.

But, in many cases, experts note that marriages actually end because of the attitudes that the married individuals have toward each other. The way you treat each other on a daily basis plays a huge role in how strong your relationship is, and certain attitudes can slowly tear a marriage apart.

When should you draft a prenuptial agreement?

You and your significant other get engaged. It's a wonderful day that ends with dinner at a fancy restaurant. You spend the evening talking about your wedding. Should you really be talking about a prenuptial agreement?

That's not at all the romantic evening you had in mind. However, it is important to move quickly if you want to use a prenup Some legal professionals say that you should put it at the top of your to-do list once the engagement is official.

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