White Plains Divorce Law Blog

You want to get divorced, but you do not want it to be an ugly split. You're dedicated to making it a healthy process for all involved, especially because you have children. So, how do you do it?

To help you, here are a few key tips:

• Focus on communication. You and your spouse have to talk during this process so that you can work together.
• Speaking of working together, make cooperation one of your goals. Don't think of this as you versus your spouse. Think of it as you and your spouse trying to cooperate and find a solution together.
• Don't talk about things when you feel emotional. While emotions are a natural part of this process and you shouldn't avoid them, you don't want to lash out at your ex and ruin this process because you're feeling angry or sad. Just take a step back and keep working after things settle down.
• Don't be afraid to talk to others. Set up a support network. Maybe this means talking to friends or family members. Maybe it means seeing a therapist. Whatever you need to make things go smoothly, put some emphasis on it in your daily life.
• Keep a positive outlook. Focus on what your life can become, rather than the marriage that is ending. Make choices that are best for your future -- not choices that make you hold onto the past.

In the minds of most people, living in situations with domestic violence is not acceptable. However, many New York residents face violence in the home far too often. Sometimes, this violence is perpetrated on spouses, but children and other family members can also be victims. The main issue for most victims centers on what they can do to stop this dangerous and demeaning cycle of violence safely.

As family law attorneys, we like to put an emphasis on the word "safely" used in the above paragraph. Our attorneys have witnessed unfavorable outcomes in many domestic violence situations in which the victim tries to remedy the problem alone. As such, we want to urge all domestic violence victims to seek assistance when attempting to get away from a violent situation.

You may not think twice about the date you file for divorce. As soon as you decide that you want to end your marriage, you'll put in that paperwork and serve your spouse. It's all about moving quickly.

For many people, though, this is something that they think about for a long time. They really consider the dates and they think about how they can best set things up for their future. If you can, you want to pick a date that benefits you when it comes to asset division.

It is safe to say that most couples living in New York and facing divorce expect the experience to be agonizing as well as exhausting. Ending a marriage, even when each spouse agrees to the divorce, is one of the most emotional events one can go through in a lifetime. Since couples anticipate a difficult time when divorcing, many of them wish they could find a way to make the split easier for everyone involved. If this sounds like your situation, then divorce mediation may be your best solution.

If you do not already know, divorce mediation is a way for couples to settle their issues and come to a final agreement outside of a New York divorce court. An impartial mediator serves both parties by encouraging cooperative problem solving and open communications. Below is a partial list of the top benefits of choosing divorce mediation to end your marriage.

• May benefit children: When kids of divorce see their parents work together to resolve conflicts, it often helps them feel more secure about the breakup.
• More affordable: In nearly all cases, divorce mediation imposes fewer costs than traditional litigation. Mediation may also proceed faster than a courtroom divorce.
• Reduces anxiety: The idea of going to court causes many couples to feel anxious. An out of court solution helps to reduce these feelings of anxiety.